7.4. A PROBLEM – OBSTACLE OR POSSIBILITY?
We define our problems too often with negative marks and underestimate their
positive meanings. A problem can be obstacle but it can be possibility to
something new and important.
A problem is like bar in high jump. When we can jump over the bar there are
three alternatives:
a) The bar is too high;
b) Your attempt wasn’t good enough or
c) High jumping is not your sport.
We have three possibilities:
a) Lower the bar;
b) Learn better skills or
c) Do something else.
A problem can be also a sign: you have lost in woods; search our way back to
our path.
Almost all things have “good” and “bad” sides. To be able to handle changing
situations we have to be flexible enough. It is like playing guitar: when you
know how to play different styles and you have practiced enough, you can play
what you want – otherwise you can play only what you are able to.
A problem is very much question of our values. What is important and why and
what isn’t.
One example: if a magnificent, expensive and shining car is very important, like
a meaningful status symbol to us, a small scratch can cause a catastrophe. If a
car is only an equipment to travel from place a to place b a scratch doesn’t
make so big harm.
Metal health problems are both social but very often and very much individual
and egocentric.
When our environment is too small is our ego having bigger and bigger meaning.
When we are staying outside of crowd our own navel is having too big meaning.
And when we don’t have enough point of comparison our problems or emotions can
grow to unreasonable dimension.
When we don’t have enough point of comparison we have easier perspective
delusions; we don’t know what is right or wrong conclusion. Sometimes people
star to believe that in happy life there are no problems – and we know that
it isn’t true.
Old saying: “I was crying because I didn’t have any shoes until I saw a man
without no legs” describes situation that is too often true.
It is a question of our attitude: if we are focusing too much energy to what
we don’t have we are collecting dark clouds but if we are more satisfied with
what we have the sun is shining more and we are more happy. We can do a lot
with our values.
In therapy we need sometimes help from outside, from professionals.
In therapy, beside self-care, we need sometimes help from outside, from
professionals. Just like a sportsman needs and benefits from coach when trying
to become better and more successful. It happens often when challenge is
bigger than our skills, when we have a deficiency of solution.
When our everyday stress level is too high it demands too much energy to manage
in keeping us alive. We don’t have extra energy in handling those other
important things and it is like vicious circle: situation goes worse and worse
until at one point we collapse or have nervous breakdown.
In those situations it is good and helpful to have somebody helping us and
taking care. Those people outside our problems can help us to see better and
clearer our situation and our possibilities.
We can use movies in this same meaning when our problems are not too big, when
we have enough energy left.
In therapy, beside self-care, we need sometimes help from outside, from
professionals. Just like a sportsman needs and benefits from coach when trying
to become better and more successful. It happens often when challenge is bigger
than our skills, when we have a deficiency of solution.
When our everyday stress level is too high it demands too much energy to manage
in keeping us alive. We don’t have extra energy in handling those other important
things and it is like vicious circle: situation goes worse and worse until at
one point we collapse or have nervous breakdown.
In those situations it is good and helpful to have somebody helping us and
taking care. Those people outside our problems maybe can help us to see better
and clearer our situation and our possibilities. In a storm we can’t get whole
picture clearly enough.
We can use movies in this same meaning when our problems are not too big, when
we have enough energy left.
Solution requires creativity and flexibility.
Movie therapy works in this dimension on two levels:
a) It can liberate and increase creativity and adaptability and
b) Movies contain therapeutic and healing elements.
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7.5. HEALING LAUGHTER?
Laughing makes us feel good and relaxed.
Behind many problems there is our attitude and our incompetence to be flexible
enough. We may take world and thoughts too seriously and at the end we can’t
anymore laugh to ourselves.
Laughing can be very therapeutic and helpful. When we can laugh we maybe do not
take things too seriously and don’t stress so much.
We don’t want to be too superficial but what is profoundness?
If we have sense of humor it means that we are positive, going forwards, being
directed mentally to future. If we can laugh we have hope and optimism left.
Humor means that life goes on. Crying means sorrow, loosing something, it
represents past.
Some people think that those who are laughing are taking life too frivolously.
I’m not so sure about that. I think that old Tibetan saying said it right:
"If the problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't
be solved, worrying will do no good."
If we can laugh it is a good sign and if we can laugh to ourselves it means that
we are positive enough and flexible enough.
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7.6. HEALTHY SICKNESS? SICK HEALTH?
Therapy has very interesting existence. In therapy, in healing we try to move
from unwanted condition to more wanted condition. We try to change negative
situation to more positive situation.
Health and sickness are very subjective, very experimental state of affairs.
They are like problems or pain, very individual and real for that certain
person.
I define here health as ability, capability and possibility to live satisfying
enough and full enough life. As capability to exploit those important
possibilities we have during our life.
Sickness means that we can’t do those things. Sickness includes adverse factors,
obstacles, and constraints that people don’t feel useful, constructive or
integrative.
In healthy life we have our problems and challenges and adversities that we
can solve or live with. Often a problem is at same time a possible and
solving give us more life handling skills, improve our ability to manage and
grow more.
Old English saying says it right: “Calm sea don’t make good sailors”.
We can assume that mental sickness means some kind lack of capability to
solve problems. It can mean that the problem is too big or hard to solve
or we don’t have enough capability to solve that problem.
In movie therapy we can answer to those two challenges.
In movie therapy we can answer to those two challenges. We can analyze, examine,
proportion those things we think are our problems and / or we can get more life
handling skills. We can do it analytic or supportive way. And we can use active
or passive movie therapy.
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7.7. REALITY IS A HARSH PLACE
Reality contains all that exists. It contains whole known and unknown material and
immaterial university.
Reality exists in spite of our will or believes. A human being grows into humanity
being one part of neighborhood. Finnish writer Leena Krohn says that there am no
me without you. She thinks that ego is a collective reflectance, result of
interaction. Without good enough social relationships human beings don’t grow to
humanity.
Seeman specifies alienation in five levels:
1. Lack of power,
2. Purposeless,
3. Normless,
4. Isolation,
5. Self-alienation.
Less power we have in our own life more purposeless is our life becoming. It
causes that we don’t respect norms like we used to and it helps us to isolate
more. When we don’t have enough human relationships it may cause self-alienation
and then human being don’t know what is true and what isn’t. Some say that
schizophrenia is result of self-alienation.
To have well enough mental health we need to have enough social relationships
and some meaningful work to do.
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7.8. EXPAND YOUR CONCEPTION
Conception means individuals recognition of ego and reality around.
Conception is formed from information and it divides in values and believes and
those into norms. Norms means our thoughts about right and wrong, good and bad,
aims towards we want to wander in this life.
Our conception reflects picture we create from reality.
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7.9. FROM CONCEPTION TO REALITY
We built point of views about reality in our conception and try to follow those
ideas. Reality revises our conception and our conception revises our acts and
acts revise reality.
If we change some elements (reality – conception – acts) we change function of
entirety.
In analytic level we work more with conception. In supporting level we work more
with acts and reality. With conception we can work in mirror dimension. With acts
and reality we can work in window dimension.
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7.10. CREATIVITY – THREAT TO CONSERVATIVE
Conservative tries to retain status quo unchangeable when reformatory or
creativity don’t have enough space for development.
Growing and progressive society and individual are always creative. Without
creativity there is no growing or progress. And creativity is always
anti-conservative while trying to change our way of thinking and our habits
and customs.
Creativity and conservative are opposite powers.
If we don’t feel safe enough we are more afraid of stepping on those new areas
or thinking new thoughts.
If society’s norms, values and moral are very tight and narrow change can be
too big threat. Censorship takes care of those threatening things and thoughts.
More questionable a situation is fewer questions are allowed.
When there is big need for chance and big need for retention it may cause
situation involving a conflict.
Change means that old status is not good enough and we hope that new situation
would be better. Change contains a seed of criticism: you have done something
badly or wrong. Change is a small hit to our self-esteem. We need to be humble
to confess that we are not perfect and sometimes it can be hard to do without
loosing our faces.
Improvement and recovering in therapy is not only easy and positive thing. Getting
some wanted, some new means at the same time that we have to give up from
something old. And we have to be able to adapt in new situation.
Learning can be wonderful but it is stressful because we have to arrange puzzle
of our consciousness in new order.
Improvement and recovering in therapy needs modification and ability to change.
We have to be brave and willing to take those steps.
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7.11. BY REQUEST: LAST PERFORMANCE
Interaction means reciprocity.
Better we know ourselves and our resources and our obstacles, easier can our
course of life be. When we have needed skills better we can use them and learn
more.
Movies show visions of life. If our picture about reality is covering enough then
we have space to live and learn. If our permitted area is too narrow it can cause
easily problems and unsatisfied living.
More we know, less we have to guess or be afraid of. Better we know ourselves more
better we can use our possibilities.
Movies offer mirrors and windows for our use. It’s up to ourselves if we are brave
and willing to use them.
Movie therapy gives us good therapeutic devices in therapeutic relationship and
self-care.
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7.12. IMAGES IN OUR IMAGINATION
We live in reality of imagination.
We see and hear what we believe and wish we are seeing and hearing. Our
imagination causes certain results. Positive attitude help us to manage in
life. Negative attitude causes more problems and don’t ease in solving
them.
We need heroes and happy endings. We need hope and justice. It is what we want to
happen in our own life.
We need destruction, crooks, accidents, catastrophes, threat by which we can
separate good, right, valuable and respected from bad, wrong, worthless and
contemptible. We can project our emotions to them and live through them.
In movies we search reasons and motives to be able to understand life and living
better. In real life thing are not only in black or white.
Movie must be familiar so we can understand it. And movie must be a little bit
different so we can learn something new. It is like resolving crossword puzzles.
We have to know enough but not everything.
We think often that good movies have same values and principles we have.
“Intelligent people think like we think”. Good movies can satisfy our basic
needs and be suitable integrating our picture of existence.
We all need to be loved and respected. In good movies we can find those
elements.
